Learning to Be Your Own Best Friend in Both Bad Times and Good.

There are days when I am a combination of both positive and negative thinking. I am a smattering of pessimistic Eeyore from the book, Winnie-the-Pooh, and a smattering of the more optimistic Tigger, Winnie-the-Pooh, Owl, Christopher Robin, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, and Piglet. Because personality traits, chaotic inner voices and varied feelings often collide with each other, it is normal to vacillate between both optimism and pessimism. That said, it is still important to be mindful of the quality of every thought …

Weeds or sunflowers? When your mind is filled with negative voices that aren’t serving your body, mind or spirit, it is important to ask, “Is this thought a weed that needs to be discarded, released and pulled out from its root, or is it a sunflower gradually unfolding into its full potential?” If we are mostly critical, snarly, and “glass half empty” thinkers, it would be beneficial to shift our disgruntled attitude as quickly as possible. After all, too many weeds in our garden of life will keep the sunlight from shining and our life from blossoming to its full potential.

Mirror, mirror on the wall. When we shift our negative thinking to thoughts that are positive, empathic and loving, a positive energy field transcends insecurities and fears and acknowledges the best of who we are. Now and then, look at yourself in the mirror with warm and loving eyes. One caveat. Our inner critique often takes over and enjoys pointing out what we think are flaws. When you catch yourself looking at your features with dismay, age spots with a frown and wrinkles with a disgusted shaking of your head, stop. Instead of listening to self-demeaning put-downs, how about saying …

“You know what? I love you, flaws and all. I know you try your best, and as Maya Angelou said, “when you know better, you do better.” What strength! What courage! What resilience! Look at all the tremendous challenges you experienced in your life. You never gave up. You never give up. I’m so proud of you. Hi, my friend. My best friend. Let’s do something positive together. Let’s see. What gives you joy? Laughter? Relaxation? Peace? Whatever you need to heal your spirit, let’s do it.”

The best life coach is free. When my inner critic is the only voice I hear in my head, I know it’s time for a megadose of self-love. Instead of being my own worst enemy, I shift to being my own best friend. While addressing my alter ego, I assume two roles. I am the person who has a problem, and I am also the person who has the power to be her own inner guru, life coach and best friend. I say to my best friend (me to me) …

I know you’re going through a difficult challenge and you’re not sure how to handle it. Let me ask you a question. If a friend had to face a challenge like yours, what would you say or do to help?

I don’t know why, but it’s always so much easier to suggest just the right remedy to a friend. After you hear the wisdom that you gave “your best friend,” offer yourself the same advice. One

of the pearls of wisdom I told “my best friend” focused on the healing power of words. I inspired her to say …

“I can handle this situation. Step by step and breath by breath, I have the strength to deal with anything that comes my way. I’ve proven my inner strength before, and I will prove it again. I can do this!”

Spiritual awakening. So, are you ready? Say hello to your beautiful essence. Your best friend. Cherish, respect and honor yourself. Offer yourself the same spiritual wisdom, guidance, compassion, forgiveness, kindness and love you offer others. Acknowledge your strength and beauty. It isn’t boastful. It isn’t narcissistic. It is loving, compassionate, caring, supportive, forgiving and healing. Don’t allow the naysayers and pessimists of the world to sway you from a life of joy and empowerment and don’t allow your own inner naysayer sway you from a life of joy and empowerment. Make it your intention to be kinder to yourself in both bad times and good. As the lyrics of my original song, “The Friendship Song,” says …

Be your own best friend in “The Friendship Song,”

Sing it out loud and sing it strong

Shake your own hand, say hello

Smile at yourself each day you grow!

Cheryl Melody Baskin  is an author, intuitive life coach, musician, educator, sound healer and motivational speaker. Her books include Peace Dreamer: A Journey of Hope in Bad Times and Good, Heart-Dreamer: Stepping into Life, Love, Creativity and Dreams - No Matter What and Shift of Heart: Paths to Healing and Love and she is the founder and moderator of "Shift of Heart," a large and inclusive Facebook community of spirituality, love, support and hope.

“Melody” enjoys a balance of quiet contemplation, meaningful social interaction, dreaming new dreams, and the healing power of nature. She is also a strong believer in peace, diversity celebration, listening to life's wisdom whispers, trusting in the magical mystery of the unknown, healing from inside-out, and walking the path of love.

She was recently honored with a Lifetime Achievement Award from The Visioneers International Network.